You have four neighbors, one on each side, and they all have dogs. You just finished cleaning up a soupy mess in your yard. You are agitated, though you don't know which of the neighbors is guilty of letting their dog have access to your yard. Work has been crazy, then when the weekend comes up ...here you are, doing the same thing as at work, cleaning up other people's messes.
Your spouse comes up with a solution ...and soon you are on a Mediterranean cruise, just the two of you stretching out on lounge deck chairs and sipping delectable fruit drinks, while a beautiful breeze wisps through your hair.
You throw back your arms, exclaiming, "Isn't this the life!!"
The quick movement, collapses the chair, and you roll overboard. Your spouse quickly leaps up, and leans over the railing to get a view of you ...but leans too far, and falls overboard also.
You both look up, as the enormous ship passes halfway by. Suddenly, a voice comes along, and you turn around to see, and hear, two old vulgar fishermen in a small boat. One man extends his grubby old dirty hand, inviting to pull you out of the water and into their boat.
Your spouse quickly whispers, "No, I want back on the cruise, it was like heaven there!"
The other vulgar fisherman smiles, "There's sharks in the water. You better not take to long to decide."
The ship is about to pass completely by, when finally you realize that it is not going to rescue you ...only the fishermen can save you now.
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I thank those who have posted some very good and thought provoking things on Facebook. I will copy a couple of them here:
"Twelve-Step recovery groups cannot bring a person into a right relationship with God; for their god is not the God of Scripture, their prayers are to whatever power(s) they choose, their bible is not God's Word, and their salvation is from "addiction," not sin. The devil is more than happy to provide sobriety in the place of salvation. AA and recovery movements are false religions, attempting to lead mankind to a better and happier life, yet bypass the Cross."
(Perhaps there are not that many alternate programs, so we can not say the good that AA does should be overlooked, as we may feel they could do more. We should realize that it is important for someone to stop drinking, as one important step to improving their life. God can reach out to us, and that is not necessarily hindered just because AA doesn't make a more religious point. We would not want to deny someone an operation to replace a heart valve ...because we feel it doesn't do enough to get their heart right with Jesus.)
Some people drink, others take drugs ...thinking they need the "high" to get by. But we all have things we desire, that we like to do to help us get by. We are all different, and to different degrees look at life and what it has to offer. If it doesn't offer us what we expect it to offer us, we often try to make changes. But those changes are more often external, than internal.
"God does not search around to find you a mate that's 'compatible' ... did you know that? More than likely He is going to find you a mate that's not totally compatible with you! Why? He is perhaps going to give you a mate that's strong in all the areas where they must be strong, though you may not know that. You may feel agitated, yet you will not be (tempted) tested beyond what you can bear. But often He is going to give you a mate who fails in some of the areas where you most do not want them to fail, so that you can learn to be like Jesus. And what does that mean? So that you learn to love someone unconditionally who doesn't meet the conditions." ....I don't know who originated this, but I thank you for the thoughtful perspective.
Those intimate relations between a husband and wife are considered sacred ...and they should remain private, only between the two of you!! That is one aspect of love which I'm referring to ...which often results in having babies. Another aspect, is when there seems to be a lack of love. Love also involves those disagreements when, for the moment anyway, there seems to be irreconcilable differences. There are times when someone needs to seek professional help, but in most cases, our emotions often carry us to a point when we claim we can not reconcile that which can be reconciled. If we just go to others to vent, or gain support for our justifications of those feelings, then often we are betraying the very one whom we have joined in that intimacy with. After all, the first definition of "intimate" in the dictionary defines it as: pertaining to the inmost character, which is most private and personal. We can put on our Sunday smiles, and be nice to everyone else, but our spouses see us in most every moment ...our good moments, and our struggles. Often our struggles should be as sacred as our intimacy ...we are not to dig up grievances to hold against our loved ones.
Actually, we are to love our neighbors (or you may refer to them as 'everyone'), and so much of gossip is not used to inform someone, or warn someone ...but is just plain gossip. If we are to hire someone, or if someone is running for an office that requires upstanding character ...then it can get ugly, but it should be true and fair. But, back to our loved ones ...our spouse, and our children; we are the ones they primarily have to turn to, and should have the trust and confidence to do so. If we tell someone else, then they may tell another who tells another ...and we don't know where that goes. But, if we only tell God, in prayer, then it can be quickly reconciled by both going to God, and we can embrace each other in knowing that we had entered the intimacy of the struggle within the sacred bounds of our union as family. It may seem strange to mention our struggles as intimate, but we should be thankful that we can bring our concerns in prayer to God. It is an invaluable comfort to know we are loved by God. What grievances can we possibly have ...that we think are greater than those which God could remind us of??
With that in mind, I would think we should be offering only love and forgiveness. That does not mean we are to ignore everything, and avoid confrontations at all cost. But, let us be sure that love and forgiveness is a significant part of the process after what needs to be done ...is done. Because without love, it is never done.
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